So yesterday, interesting day. 

I stayed up all night (my first mistake) to finish off my kitchen picture, then went to hand in my Drawing and Composition ICA (i.e. the pictures), I wasnt totally happy with it but I never am with my work (well all but a few pictures). Anyway I set off, and I'm on the bus and realise I forgot my railcard, so I totally had to pay full fare then I was really early for the train so I was stuck in the cold station for a while. But got to Uni and handed them in, I had a photocopy taken so I could share them and in case they lose them or I dont get them back next year (because art is so subjective it takes all year to mark them) I'll have a record of the pictures.

Then lets see, I went to the History of Games lecture, and we all laughed hystirically to 'Thumb Candy' a documentry on computer game history which was about 6 years old? not exactly upto date. There was one guy he looked like a Zombie from shaun of the dead, no joking it was "ok dont look, laughing so hard, cant, breath" moments, and then the eccentric British invertor... OMG! , he's a prime example for why a programmers need to get out more.... weird! 

After that hilarity I came home, cold, hair all a mess, tired because I still hadn't had slept... and I fall into bed, getting 30 minutes sleep is all I wanted, I reduced it to 10 but all I got was 3, 3 minutes with my eyes closed getting SET hugs. *sigh* Then I was dragged out to the party, hair still a mess, no scarf or jacket like I wanted *sigh*

Now the party, well as I understood it the 'bad elements' would be there, fights and bickering would continue along with ill feeling. That day I just couldnt take the drama so like I'm with the girls doing the last minute shopping thing and I just feel the weight of the world on me, I'm frantically texting Special K, telling her that "I'm in hell" but it hadn't even started at that point.

Then I get dramatic...

We're making our way to the restaurant and I turn to the girls, calmly saying, "I'm tired, I've not had much sleep, I'm cold and I'm just going to be annoying all evening so I should go home". OMG! the look of horror on there faces, I feel so bad about it, I really thought I was being such a pill they'd welcome my volunteering to go away. Obviously not, and Karen said harsh words in the moment.... I went off, they did too, I phoned my rock, I needed to hear her voice, I needed to bitch, I needed to rant, I needed to scream, I needed to cry. Then I heard her voice, her concern, she reminded me I had to go but without saying it, I had to find my girls. I couldnt let them go away angry or be alone.

I found them, they weren't so mad, I think they got that I was upset and just had to get away from them for a few minutes. We enter, the bad elements are not there, I'm so relieved, and think, "well maybe I can survive the evening", and you know, some parts I dare say I enjoyed.

Perhaps the lesson I should learn is that "family, is very important". The 'bad elements' should not be allowed to come between me and the people I like, and more importantly, my girls, they're so much more important than the feud and fighting.

So the plan is to try and be more social, Sunday I'm going over to the pub with them, then Sunday lunch at my Aunts with the girls. Hope it goes well and the 'bad elements' are not there. As for today, since my Sunday is full of doing things I'll be doing my Sunday 'lay around in bed' thing today :D should be fun hehe.

Can I have some hugs please? even though I've been an ass?

xx